Okay, this is the thing; there was this day when I was really astonished when I found out for the first time that Rifqi had taken off his ring. Why was I shocked you may say? You’d think that since 15 years of coming home to indo after 6 years growing up in england that I’d no longer have culture shocks rite? Nop! Turns out still, i find myself gasping at peculiar differences. See all my life, and I mean naively all my life, it had been cemented in my brain that when you’re engaged/married you never take off your ring. The only reason you’d take it off is if you’re in a bar and you intend to appear single and looking for a one night stand. That’s why in western movies sometimes people lose their ring when they’re in the shower, for say, as they don’t take it off even when they’re washing themselves. The ring is like the extension of a body part, people!

So I was shocked when Rifqi casually revealed to me one day that he takes off his ring immediately whenever he’s home. I couldn’t believe it! My thoughts were racing, is the ring not a strong symbol of our bond-i was honestly a bit hurt? Then he told me that people everywhere do it. His (already married) sister and husband do. Everybody does it-he says. I simply had not noticed this before. I still couldn’t believe it that “everybody does it”. So I sms’ed my friend Dinda who with her husband Alan are madly in love and married over a year. “Do you and Alan take off your ring?”-I text’ed. Sounds like a private question to me but if this really is a casual behavior in indo then I was sure she wouldn’t mind me asking. “Yeah, sure we do, we keep the ring on our bedside table.”-she replied. Shock! So slowly it sunked in to me that it is true..

So now this is how we do it, Rifqi takes off his ring right after he comes inside the house alongside his watch, and I still never take off mine. (Well, I did once try to adopt this culture and took off my ring when I wanted to take a shower, but then I forgot to wear it after and didnt remember about it until the next day -dangerous!)

That’s why Rifqi’s ring is still rather shiny and bling bling. And mine has become rugged and not quite so bright